The Fetish Dictionary: Pygophilia

The Fetish Dictionary takes one sexual “philia” and explores it through a short fictional scenario. This week’s word is…


“…sexual excitement caused by seeing, touching, or fondling a woman’s derrière.” (Source)

The ass: each perfect and distinct, hard and soft at once, shapely yet discordant. Tucked away beneath cotton, lace, and spandex. I want to uncover all of the asses in this world, consume them with my tongue and my mouth. I want to host an Oscar ceremony, except for butts. I will be the judge, I will weigh the butts in my own hand and taste them with my tongue. The best ass will receive a golden statue of an ass, delivered by me. The owner will weep from happiness.

I am walking down 16th street on a mission to find ass. Specifically, to find one dark brown creation with thick cheeks and a shadowy, deep crack through the center. The owner knows that I have my special preferences and is waiting for me. I’ve instructed her not to shower, not to dare ruin the natural scent accumulated after a long day at the office.

It is a warm summer afternoon, and so there are many butts on display. I see them peeking “hello!” from the bottom of shorts, I see them bubble out towards me from beneath flowing maxi dresses and skirts. Sometimes, when it is dark, I reach out and pinch them or run my hands down their curve. The best place to do this is at a crowded bar, where women assume that jostling and bumping is part of the bar experience.

How can a man walk, when an ass bounces in front of him? How can he focus? I’ve never seen the same ass twice, only variations. I should have gone to art school years ago, and handed out my card to women on the street. Come have your ass worshipped by an artist, the card would say. And then I would provide my number.

I arrive at my destination, buzz in, and walk up three flights of stairs. Nina, the owner of the beautiful brown ass, lets me do whatever I want to her perfectly delicious bottom as long as I eat her when it’s all over. The pussy is like any other body part to me; the lips, the nose, the ear. But I do it because I am deeply in love with her ass.

She is naked when she answers the door, fanning herself with a water bill.

“Come in, Chris.”

I enter and walk like a trained dog to her living room carpet, which she keeps very clean for this reason. I lay down flat on my back and wait for her. She takes her time, and I can see that sometimes this arrangement annoys her. Nina is smart enough to realize that I’m in it for the ass, and not because I want to become her boyfriend or anyone else important.

Nina spreads her legs above my face and lowers down the most heavenly ass that was ever shaped by God’s hands. I can already smell her spice, thick and peppery, like a very expensive dish of food. The ass blocks out the light, descending down, a dark round cloud. I can feel that my cock is already so hard it wants to burst, and I reach down and free it, taking it into my hand.

She rubs her ass cheeks over my face like a “hello,” and I die. It is better than the last time and all of the times before that. It feels so warm to me, so comfortable. I lick her flesh and feel how smooth and lovely it is, preserved like a rare flower in the hothouse of her pants all day long. She is salty, delicious. I find her hole and dunk my tongue into it, relishing in the forbidden taste.  Oh the ass, the ass.

“Crush me with it, kill me with it,” I moan beneath her.

She sits down. Nina stopped worrying about breaking my nose months ago. I try to breathe in, but my nostrils are pinched and my mouth is covered. I let the suffocation melt down my body as I jerk my cock in fast movements. She sits up for only a moment to let me breathe, but only after she sees my body redden and my cock twitch for air.

Ass, oh ass. One cheek a moon, the other a sun. With those baby hairs, with that silken skin. Weighted to kill me, wanting to kill me. Always hiding from me. I can never have enough of it. I won’t be satisfied until it squashes me and I die. My eyes roll back, I cum into my hand, I am satisfied.

Photo credit: khumana via VisualHunt / CC BY-NC-ND