My Erotica Career is A Big Old Secret

You are reading the blog of a person who deceives other people.

A liar.

Do you want to keep reading this blog?

Do you want to be locked in jail for reading the blog of a liar?

I confess, I use a pseudonym for all of my pornographic writing. But it goes even beyond this; I don’t self promote my writing on my personal Facebook or tell people about it unless I am drunk at a bar with them. That level of secrecy is still stronger than government’s protection of secrets. Prove me I’m wrong!

There are two crucial reasons why I do this horrible thing:

#1: My Mother. It is my life goal that my mother does not cry, does not know I have a vintage Ouija board in my closet, and never learns that I moonlight as an erotica author. She is not merely a church going Christian, she is The Church Lady. She is the most Church Lady I’ve ever seen. When I was younger and trailers for the Harry Potter movie were playing in a movie theater, she would cover my eyes and pray in tongues. I wish I was making that up.

#2: Work. Because I have a job as a writer, a very stuffy corporate writer, my erotica would be a terrible thing to reveal. Would clients want to work with me if they knew my speciality was call-to-action web copy and tentacle anal scenes? I do not think that they would.

#3: Potential Fame? It just would be nice if no one knew who I was, like my idol Selena Kitt. She could be sitting next to me right now, just chilling in my house, and I would never know. She could be ordering a sandwich at Subway with all of her piles of money, and those dear employees would not know. Anonymity is so good. Think about poor Stephenie Meyer.

Now, let me confide in you a secret. My mother has just moved into my house after a divorce and some bad luck. It’s temporary, but I work on my erotica every night. And worse, I paint all of my covers by hand, which takes time and open air. I’ve been rush painting them while she goes to church, consider the hilariousness of that. And I had this terrible/inspiring thought today: If Jeffrey Dahmer’s neighbors didn’t know he was killing people in the apartment building, my mom will never learn about my erotica career. Right? Right?

Do you use a false identity as an erotica author? Or, are you ballsy enough to just tell everyone you meet “howdy doody! Just wrote some piss fetish erotica I bet you’d like!” Sometimes I think about getting a huge bumper sticker that says “Read Mintie Price Erotica,” but I just don’t know.

I’d be interested to hear your stories! Add them to the comments or tell me on Twitter @MintiePrice. I’m lonely and I need more erotica friends.