Peen and Puss: Advice About Erotica Euphemisms

In short: it’s hard to come up with ways to say certain body parts in an erotica. Do you go with a classic? Something you heard once on Urban Dictionary? Something childish to make the scene a little lighter? Do you choose an elaborate metaphor?

All of these questions are to be considered as you flesh-out your sex scene in an erotica. I tend to bounce between a few favorites, perhaps throw a weird metaphor in. Here are a few examples of erotic euphemisms:

The Classics: Great for dirty talk and hard-and-fast scenes.

Cunt

Pussy

Dick

Cock

Vagina

The Metaphorical: Great for more romantic moments when the character has time to ponder genitals. 

Rigid snake

Blooming flower

Sausage

Bird’s nest

The Silly: Great for…nothing. I don’t know that I recommend these. 

Pump action yogurt cannon

Lord Thrusty

Tampon tunnel

Fuzz bucket

The No-No: There is only one. 

Cunny

I’m not even sure why Cunny bothers me so much. I know that it’s perhaps tied to location, like how some people in the States say “Pop” while others say “Soda.” Cunny just rhymes with bunny and I can’t take it seriously.

So, how do you pick?

I recommend sticking with the more natural, in general, from the Classics list. If you sext, look back over on those and see what you used. You wouldn’t really describe your pussy as a “fuzz bucket,” because it would make the whole conversation goofy and weird. For the sake of making your piece more literary, maybe throw in 1-2 metaphorical descriptions per scene. For instance, let’s say the penis is described as a rigid snake ready to strike at some point, then the vagina might once be called a flower blooming in the presence of a bee…that’s not perfect, but you get what I mean.

And please, I pray to god that you don’t go around calling your dick Lord Thrusty.

Erotica is nice when it’s straight-forward and the words themselves don’t detract from the scene. A lot of writers know that this can feel repetitive, but it still works for a reader. There are about 500 billion videos of a penis entering a vagina on the internet, and yet people clamor for more. The act itself is so mysterious and compelling that it doesn’t matter how old or familiar you are with the tools.

That said, try out something fancy, but only a dash of it. Like a garnish on a dish. Stick to the old fashioned cock and cunt otherwise.